Staying in love forever – Connection Impact

The time leading up to and just after a couple’s wedding is one of the most precious seasons in a relationship. Falling madly in love with one another for the first time, the joy of realising you’ve found the one, the thrill of getting engaged and, of course, starting your new life together once you get married – these likely represent some of the best times of your life. It’s during this time when you message one another most often (and likely with the most romantic declarations), when you create some of your most special memories, and when you take the most photos – so that you can re-live all those memorable moments as often as you wish.

The world tells us that this blissful time is only temporary and it’s unrealistic – it will fade at some point because it doesn’t really reflect the reality of being in the relationship.

If this was true, then every couple who got married would be doomed, knowing it would only be a matter of time before they’ll realise that all the wonderful things about their relationship were only a farce and that it would never be the same again. How pointless that would be! If that was the case, why would anyone want to get married?

Yet, there are many couples who’ve been married for years and still look at one another with a sparkle in their eyes. That’s because the real truth is that it is possible to keep those young-and -in-love feelings alive, no matter how long you’ve been together. The experience may not be exactly the same; after all, you probably know a lot more about one another now, and you can only have all those ‘firsts’ once – the first date, the first ‘I love you’, the first kiss…

However, you may be surprised to find that the experience can be even better than before, even if it’s different. That’s because romance now plays a different role in your relationship. It gives it depth and enables your relationship to grow and bear fruit that brings joy and blessings both to you as a couple and to those around you.

So, what’s the secret to keeping the romance alive?

Firstly, it’s a choice. Together, you and your spouse have to make a conscious decision that you want to keep your young-and-in-love experience alive. This means you don’t sit back and wait for those warm, fuzzy feelings to return or expect your partner to make it happen. Instead, you commit to creating and pursuing opportunities that you know will trigger those emotions and feelings.

Secondly, you must be aware of one another’s needs in terms of how each of you view and experience love. This will help you to focus on the things that made your partner feel loved and cherished in the early stages of your relationship. For example, if you used to wash your wife’s car regularly without her even asking because her love language is acts of service and she now visits the carwash, ask yourself why this changed. Be conscious and pro-active about choosing words and actions that you know are most meaningful to your spouse.

Thirdly, you have to make the habits you had at the beginning of your relationship part of your routine again. This can be as elaborate as a fancy, once-a-month date night where you dress up and go to a special venue, or as simple as hiding a note in your husband’s lunchbox every day. Habits and routines do not have to be boring and predictable. In fact, they can create excitement and expectation by keeping those things that fuelled your relationship at the beginning at the forefront.

Lastly, promise each other that you’ll never take one another or any aspect of your life together for granted. The moment you start doing that, you bring the ordinary and the mundane into your relationship, leaving no space for the magic that brought you together in the first place.

Just like love is a verb, romance is a choice. Keeping that young-and-in-love feeling going throughout your marriage is possible. But it’s up to you.