I recently stumbled upon an article where the authors commented on numerous quotes relating to forgiveness. Many of the quotes contained valuable snippets of wisdom and inspired me to share my thoughts on some of them.
“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” Unknown
If you choose to hold on to the wrongs that were done to you – either by your spouse or someone else – you will remain stuck in a place of bitterness and resentfulness. The pain that you’re experiencing at that moment will become your reality and eventually your identity. You won’t be able to move forward but will live in the past, with the idea of a better future only a distant concept.
It’s important to realise that by letting go and moving on you’re not saying that what was wrong and hurtful is now right and acceptable. It wasn’t right and it never will be. Forgiveness simply frees you from the shackles of bitterness and feeling let down and gives you the ability to take control of the situation, instead of the situation controlling you.
“To heal a wound, you need to stop touching it.” Unknown
Sometimes the situation that caused you pain, was so severe that you cannot stop thinking about it. However, dwelling on it has the same effect as repeatedly touching an open wound. The wound will remain painful and won’t be able to heal. Crucially, it could also get infected, leaving you even worse off. The only way to heal your hurt is to step away and allow time to do its work. This means you have to stop revisiting the situation and – just as you would apply ointment and plaster to a physical wound – take proactive steps to move out of a place of hurt and pain. If this means you need to get professional help, do that. Seek out anyone who can help you move forward and keep you accountable.
“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.” Joseph F Newton
This quote made me realise that every thought I hold against someone who has wronged me is a brick that I use to build a wall around myself. I can try and justify this by saying I’m isolating myself, but that would be a lie. In reality, I’m isolating myself from other people, trapping myself with my pain. Eventually I’ll be alone with only my pain for company, cut off from others.
To heal from your past hurts, start using your bricks to build bridges instead of a wall. Reach out to people who can help you process what happened, ask God what you can learn from the situation, start to support others who may be experiencing similar hurts. While walls isolate, bridges lead to new possibilities, partnerships, and prospects.
“A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” Robert Quillen
Marriage can never be successful if unforgiveness forms part of the fabric of the relationship. As a married couple, forgiveness is a gift that you must give each other daily. Any unforgiveness that you hold in your heart, irrespective of whether it’s about something big or small and how long you’ve held on to it, will have a negative impact on your connection as a couple. To keep your connection vibrant and growing, you must diligently put forgiveness at the top of your priority list. One of the most powerful tokens of love that you can give your spouse is forgiveness. Always remember that.
You can read the full article here:
https://www.marriage.com/advice/forgiveness/quotes-that-will…
Questions to think and talk about:
- Are there things in our marriage for which we need to forgive each other? What are they? What has kept us back from granting forgiveness?
- How can we as a couple keep forgiveness at the top of our relationship priority list?
- What are the benefits of daily forgiveness for each other as well as our relationship?