The story of Boaz and Ruth took place during the time of Judges. For Ruth, a Moabite woman, their story started with loss: Ruth’s husband had passed away. Her mother-in-law, Naomi, had also lost her husband as well as her sons. Out of love for Naomi, Ruth decided to leave her homeland and go live with Naomi in Judah. In making this decision, Ruth uttered those well-known words of devotion: “Your people will be my people, and your God my God.” (Ruth 1:16)
In Judah, far away from her family and home, Ruth had no prospects as a foreign widow. To provide food for her and Naomi, she went to work as a gleaner (someone who picks up fallen grains after the harvest) in the fields of Boaz, an Israelite farmer. Boaz noticed Ruth’s good character and protected her.
Boaz was also a relative of Naomi’s late husband and the “family redeemer”. According to ancient Israelite law, a close relative (the “redeemer”) could buy the land of a widow and marry her to continue the family name. After another relative refused to take up the role of redeemer because Ruth was a foreigner, Boaz stepped up and married Ruth.
Boaz and Ruth became the parents of Obed, who was the grandfather of King David. Despite being a non-Israelite, Ruth became part of the family line of Jesus.
Lessons we can learn from Boaz and Ruth
Boaz and Ruth’s story is set in a very specific historical and cultural context, far from our realities today. We can learn valuable lessons from their relationship. At the heart of Boaz and Ruth’s message is a shift in focus from finding the right person to being the right person. Their relationship was not built on a spark of emotion, but on a foundation of godly values and principles.
1. Character is more important than chemistry
Whereas we live in a world driven by surface-level attraction, Boaz and Ruth remind us that character matters. Boaz looked beyond the fact that Ruth was a poor, foreign widow and noticed her kindness and devotion towards Naomi. Ruth trusted Boaz because he was known as an honourable and kind man.
Chemistry can fade, but character provides the stability needed for the “for worse” seasons. Make a conscious effort to identify and praise your partner’s admirable character traits, such as their integrity, work ethic, and how they treat those who can do nothing for them in return.
3. Practise love that goes above and beyond
The Hebrew word hesed is the heartbeat of Boaz and Ruth’s story. There isn’t just one single English translation, since it encapsulates several meanings: loving-kindness, steadfast love, mercy, and loyalty. It describes a selfless love that goes beyond what is required. Boaz demonstrated hesed by taking the role of family redeemer to provide protection and security for Ruth and Naomi.
Practising hesed means looking for ways to serve and honour your spouse even when you are tired or when they have not “earned” it. It means not keeping score of mistakes and giving 100% all the time, irrespective of feelings or circumstances.
3. Guard each other and your relationship at all costs
Boaz went out of his way to ensure that Ruth was safe in his fields and stepped up to provide for her and protect her family and future. Boaz’s actions gave Ruth confidence to seek him out as her family’s protector.
In marriage, you should be each other’s greatest advocates. This means protecting your spouse’s dignity in public, guarding your marriage from outside interferences (such as toxic advice or inappropriate friendships), and creating a home that is a safe emotional refuge from the world.
4. Do the right thing the right way
Boaz did not take shortcuts. Even though he loved Ruth, he acted with integrity: He followed the legal and social protocols of his day to ensure their union was honourable. Their relationship developed through respectful, planned actions, not hasty intimacy. Boaz honoured Ruth by protecting her reputation.
Consistently doing the right thing in marriage means never cutting corners when it comes to practising good morals and values, as individuals and as a couple. It starts with alignment on what is right and honourable and requires complete transparency in every aspect of your relationship to keep each other accountable – your intentions, your communication, your finances. When you are committed to integrity, neither of you have to wonder whether the other has hidden motives or agendas.
5. Be clear on your purpose and legacy
Boaz and Ruth’s marriage was not just about their own happiness; it ensured the preservation of Ruth’s family line and eventually led to the birth of Jesus. Despite the tragedy and poverty that Ruth faced, they trusted and submitted to God’s plan and timing. Their union resulted in a legacy that continued through generations.
Strong marriages have a sense of purpose beyond themselves. Whether it is how you raise your children, how you serve your community, or how you support others, seeing your marriage as a partnership for a greater good helps you stay united and focused on God.
The marriage of Boaz and Ruth demonstrates that godliness and mutual honour form the foundation of a lasting union. Their story highlights the importance of a strong character, acting with integrity rather than selfish passion, and trusting God’s providence.
Questions to think and talk about:
- If your marriage were to reflect the story of Boaz and Ruth, which area would need the most growth right now?
- How do you honour and protect each other’s reputation in public and private?
- What does mutual respect in your relationship look like daily?
- What qualities in your partner make you trust them more than anyone else?