Every marriage faces challenges. Difficult circumstances, unexpected situations, and emotional struggles – these can test the strongest relationships. Fortunately, the Bible gives us inspiring examples of couples who trusted God even when life was complicated. One of the most powerful examples is the relationship between Joseph and Mary.
Although their situation as the parents of the Saviour of the world was unique, their response to God’s call provides timeless lessons for our marriages today.
Tests of faith and obedience from the start
Before we get to the lessons we can learn from Joseph and Mary, let’s recap their story for context. While Joseph and Mary were engaged, Mary became pregnant. According to Jewish law at the time, an engagement was a legally binding contract. Breaking an engagement, therefore, required a formal divorce.
When Joseph discovered that Mary was pregnant, he was, understandably, confused and deeply troubled. He had no explanation for the situation. However, because Joseph was a righteous man, he did not want to disgrace Mary in public. So, he planned to end the engagement quietly.
Before Joseph could act on this decision, God intervened. An angel appeared to him in a dream and explained that Mary’s pregnancy was from the Holy Spirit and that the child she carried would be the Saviour of the world. Joseph then made a remarkable decision: He chose to trust God and take Mary as his wife, despite the potential social criticism and the personal uncertainty of what that would mean for him and Mary.
Mary had her own challenges to deal with. When the angel told her she had been chosen to give birth to Jesus, she was very young – possibly between 12 and 16 years old, according to most historians and scholars. In her culture, such news would usually mean shame and rejection.
Despite the potential consequences and life-changing impact, Mary responded with humility and trust in God, embracing her role as Jesus’s mother. She gave birth to Jesus in Bethlehem under humble circumstances and was present during many significant moments in Jesus’s life, including the performance of His first miracle and His crucifixion.
What we can learn from Joseph and Mary
The relationship between Joseph and Mary teaches us three powerful lessons about faith, obedience, humility, and partnership.
1. Obedience to and faith in God should come above all else
Joseph and Mary both placed God’s will above their personal plans and reputations. Even when the path ahead was uncertain, they chose faith and trusted God, instead of allowing fear and confusion to dictate their relationship and their next steps. Importantly, their obedience and faith ultimately led to great joy and fulfilment.
Seeking and prioritising God’s guidance above your own desires and expectations is crucial in marriage. After all, marriage was designed by God. Make an effort to listen to God’s voice together through prayer, Scripture, and wise counsel. Being aligned with Him will strengthen your relationship and make it more resilient.
2. Marriage is about teamwork and tackling life together
Joseph and Mary faced many difficulties, but they never tried to navigate these by themselves. From the arduous journey to Bethlehem to their escape to Egypt, they faced each challenge together and supported one another.
We all experience difficulties at some point. Financial stress, parenting challenges, and unexpected life events can test your relationship. The important thing is that you do not turn against each other during these trying times; instead, you should work together to overcome them. In the same vein, it is important to remember the concept of grace. Everyone makes mistakes, and no marriage is perfect. Just as God shows grace to you, you must also extend grace and forgiveness to one another.
3. Always keep your eyes on God’s purpose
Joseph and Mary understood that their lives and relationship were part of God’s greater plan. Their marriage had a purpose beyond themselves: raising Jesus. Joseph and Mary remained faithful to this calling throughout their lives. Even when they faced hardship, uncertainty, and danger, they did not look at their circumstances but kept their eyes on God’s promise and purpose for them.
You and your spouse may not be tasked with raising the Saviour of the world, but God still brought you together for a reason. When you pursue God’s calling and shared purpose for you as a couple, your relationship will flourish. But it won’t always be easy. When you experience obstacles, let Joseph and Mary’s perseverance be a reminder that marriage requires commitment, endurance, and patience.
A God-centred marriage is an impactful marriage
The story of Joseph and Mary is not simply the story of Christmas – it is a powerful example of a relationship rooted in faith and obedience.
For us today, their story serves as a reminder that strong marriages are built on faith, mutual support, obedience to God, and a shared purpose. Joseph and Mary’s willingness to trust God changed the course of history. Similarly, your marriage can have a profound impact on your family and community – if you align it with God’s purpose.
When you choose to walk together in faith, even the most challenging circumstances can become opportunities for growth, deeper love, and lasting joy.
Questions to think and talk about:
- Joseph and Mary supported each other during difficult circumstances. How can you better support one another during stressful seasons?
- Why is it important that you see yourselves as a team rather than opponents during conflicts?
- How can you discover God’s purpose for your marriage?
- What is one practical step you can take this week to strengthen your marriage based on what you learned from Joseph and Mary?